every time I feel the need to rest
it feels like there is something very important I must do
every time I rest
it feels like I am accomplishing nothing
every time I succumb to exhaustion
it feels like half a day is gone
every time I am barely rested
it feels like I need to make up for unused time
every time I think about rest
it feels like I need to justify it to myself
looking for stars
finding voids
taking a break
working even harder
grasping for straws
touching nothing
trying to concentrate
getting distracted
starting to write
losing focus
delaying to another day
hoping for a better outcome
at the faintest sound
ready to freeze
at the tiniest glimpse
ready to run
at the slightest touch
ready to fight
every fiber in the body
prepared for survival
ready all the time
prepared for every occasion
still building up the tautness
still tightening more and more
never feeling any of the tension
never sensing the strain
until the tiny cracks appear
and the muscles tear apart
a burning sensation
a lack of strength
everything tumbling down
everything breaking apart
no energy left
just endless rest
too much thinking
less feeling
pressured
to capture the day
the impressions
too fresh
lingering in the mind
clouding the judgement
this fixation on writing something
anything
that fits the days theme
... ... ...
wait a night
let it sink in
and then
look at it with fresh eyes
mind unclouded
and a lot to write about
Si'ar Siyu's Webplace 