shock
I restarted my browser
and now all my tabs are gone
what happened?
how can I access all the important stuff?
where is my life?
without my data I'm nothing
how should I know who I am without the world telling me?
how could I loose myself?
maybe I've got a backup?
nope, nothing's here
not a single trace remains
wait, there it is
in the browser's chronic
I can see glimpses of myself
tab by tab
I'm reopening my life
wondering if I ever would be the same person again
in this state
in-between
seeing straight
quite impossible
everything's hazy
nothing is clear
like a wall
of cotton candy
needing time
to disappear
fold by fold
winding through
a dark space
like a snake
picking up everything
that crosses its path
needing a lot of energy
to build and unbuild
its vast network
nothing happens
without its input
and direction
constantly talking
but never listening
to its own advice
me not wanting to have kids
me not feeling attraction
me not understanding what all the fuss is about
me failing to express myself
why do I have to reproduce?
why do I need to fall in love?
why do I want to exchange bodily fluids?
me failing to understand expectations
me finding words
me finding support
me finding resources
me finally able to talk
me knowing I don't need to do anything
me knowing there are others like me
me knowing that I can contribute
me feeling proud to be asexual
tireless (comparative more tireless, superlative most tireless)
they’re out there to get us
they hunt us
they stalk us like prey
lurking behind every counter
waiting for us, waiting that we make a mistake
watching every step we take
coming to life at the slightest sign of weakness
roaring, pursuing us like the wild animals we are to them
to be hunted, to be herded into cages, for our own protection they say
until we do it ourselves and huddle up in our homes
of fear to go out there
to encounter more of them
they’re everywhere
defining our landscapes, using our spaces, devouring our resources
and we?
we encourage and enable them to do what they want
we watch them day in day out destroying our environment, our livelihood, our means to survive
until the day we go out there and stand up together for our shared future, take back what is ours, reclaim our spaces and start living, being free again
Yes, I’m talking about cars.
counting the minutes
waiting for the bus
counting the pages
reading during transfer
counting the steps
taking the stairs
more reading
more stairs
more transfers
when did I lose count?
around 500?
around 1000?
obviously I don't care any more
obviously I know the way by heart now
obviously I am on autopilot
Picture, picture on the wall.
Tell me your secrets,
I want to know them all.
I can tell you tales from far away,
From mysteries all around you.
I'll show you places beyond your imagination,
Hidden jewels right in front of you.
I take you to landscapes of dreams,
I teach you how to build them yourself.
You'll need to be open minded,
Making new experiences.
Forge trough life with keen observation,
Take what is useful and discard the rest.
Try new things, learn from mistakes,
Pay attention and act decisively.
Then someday when you look back
You'll hopefully be able to say:
This was a life lived to it’s fullest!
What often can be seen:
Child: Why? - question
Parent : Because ... - answer
Child: Why answer? - more questions
Parent: Because ... - more answers
Child: Why? - even more questions
Parent: I don't know, stop asking questions.
What ideally would happen:
Child: Why? - question
Parent : Because ... - answer
Child: Why answer? - more questions
Parent: I'm not sure. Let's find out together!
getting up
doing morning routine
going to work
working
working more
working still
getting home
eating dinner
going to bed
repeat
for at least 5 days a week
for 40 to 50 years
Si'ar Siyu's Webplace 