Si'ar Siyu's Webplace

Tag: life

  • family gathering haiku

    coming together
    talking, laughing, having a good time
    being present

    — ideally

    sitting in the corner
    watching everyone enjoying themselves
    feeling overwhelmed

    — reality

  • Me3

    past me
    present me
    future me
    past me
    made choices
    present me
    is dealing with
    the consequences
    present me
    is making decisions
    future me
    is going to live
    with the outcomes
    past me never existed
    so who was past me
    to choose for
    present me?
    future me is never going to be
    so who is future me
    present me is
    setting the path for?
    I am present me
    the only me
    that truly ever exists

  • the bane of every sleep

    urging to get up
    to find the place
    where everything goes
    no consideration
    for the implications
    on the sleeper's needs
    deaf to any bargaining
    immune to most reasoning
    resistant to all opposing forces
    master of the cognitive
    usurper of the higher functions
    in the end gaining the upper hand

  • me am loss self identity

    shock
    I restarted my browser
    and now all my tabs are gone
    what happened?
    how can I access all the important stuff?
    where is my life?
    without my data I'm nothing
    how should I know who I am without the world telling me?
    how could I loose myself?
    maybe I've got a backup?
    nope, nothing's here
    not a single trace remains
    wait, there it is
    in the browser's chronic
    I can see glimpses of myself
    tab by tab
    I'm reopening my life
    wondering if I ever would be the same person again

  • noisy office

    me sitting at the computer
    me trying to concentrate
    me in a room with people constantly talking
    me at another's desk
    me trying to explain something
    me surrounded by ongoing discussions
    me reading my e-mails
    me trying to get things done
    me in an environment of loud noises
    me finally at home
    me trying not to collapse
    me exhausted from being at the office

  • silencio Bruno

    hello, it’s me, your inner voice

    I’m here to remind you, that you can’t do that

    you’re not qualified enough

    you’re lacking ambition

    you haven’t what it takes to do that

    nobody will give a shit

    it won’t work

    don’t bother even trying

    it is futile, so why even start?

    come on, we both know you can’t do that

    what, if something went wrong?

    you know what? it is pointless

    SHUT THE HELL UP!

    …

  • tockxication

    tick-tock

    2 seconds

    tick-tock

    4 minutes

    tick-tock

    6 hours

    tick-tock

    8 days

    tick-tock

    10 weeks

    tick-tock

    12 months

    tick-tock

    14 years

    tick-tock

    ticking away

    tick-tock

    a life gone by

  • Heat of the night

    In the heat of the night
    sweat on my brow
    feeling my might
    the moment is now

    Whisper sweet nothings
    in my lovers left ear
    I hear a low huffing
    the moment is near!

    The stars were so right
    but we had no such luck
    in the heat of the night
    it was too hot to fuck

  • libido

    unrelenting force
    deep seated urge
    need to devour
    hunger for more
    never staying satisfied
    always searching
    to feel the high again
    only to begin anew

  • being aroace

    me not wanting to have kids
    me not feeling attraction
    me not understanding what all the fuss is about
    me failing to express myself
    why do I have to reproduce?
    why do I need to fall in love?
    why do I want to exchange bodily fluids?
    me failing to understand expectations
    me finding words
    me finding support
    me finding resources
    me finally able to talk
    me knowing I don't need to do anything
    me knowing there are others like me
    me knowing that I can contribute
    me feeling proud to be asexual