dead eyes
hungry mouth, shambling walk
rotting flesh
— Resident Evil
barely holding together
triggering panic with every sound
attacking on sight
— The Last of Us
in cooperation with a rhyming snail
Author: Si’ar Siyu
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zombie haiku
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beaded Halloween inspirations
At the beginning of my beading journey I tried out and experimented with different techniques. One of them is called peyote stitch and can be used to bead flat and three-dimensional objects. These one were inspired by Halloween and the often featured carved pumpkins or jack-o’-lanterns.
beaded pumpkins 
jack-o’-lantern inspired beaded rings -
illuminating Jack
pumpkins and turnips
where the blaze
did the light go?without Jack
it's pitch black
and no soul
to be seenah, here you are
I found you at lastnow I can be on my way
and roam the land forever more -
All Hallow’s Eve
All Hallow's Eve
in all it's glorious colours
bestows upon us
it's delicious gifts
pumpkins, turnips,
toffee apples and sweets
are all there for us
to enjoy on this
All Hallow's Eve -
Review week 43/2025
Grateful
- To have persons in my life who understand the difficulties I’m dealing with on a daily basis and support me each in their own way.
Failure
- In the office I got again misgendered by a colleague whom I yet again corrected. Instead of apologising they started laughing and continued the misgendering.
Take Away/Doing Next
- I will continue standing up for myself and correct misgendering, especially in environments I plan to or have to stay in for a longer period of time.
- Looking to become part of an environment in which my gender is acknowledged and accepted.
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beaded ace hippocampus
Some time ago I found this incredible beaded hippocampus pattern and I knew I needed one. Well, actually at the time of this post I already made three 😁
Today I’ll show you one of them, my ace hippocampus, inspired by the colours from the asexuality pride flag.
black: asexuality
grey: grey-asexuality and demisexuality
white: non-asexual partners and allies
purple: community
Since a hippocampus is a mixture of a horse with a fish’s tail, I chose beads that most resembled the texture of these two parts. The beads for the mane are black opaque matte while the coat is grey colour lined, also with a matted finish. The fish tail is white opaque with a lustered finish which makes the beads extra shiny, while the fins are purple transparent with silver lining.
“Ain’t I cute?”
Source: from the German book Fantastische Mini-Perlentiere by Christiane Brüning
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being aroace
me not wanting to have kids
me not feeling attraction
me not understanding what all the fuss is aboutme failing to express myself
why do I have to reproduce?
why do I need to fall in love?
why do I want to exchange bodily fluids?me failing to understand expectations
me finding words
me finding support
me finding resourcesme finally able to talk
me knowing I don't need to do anything
me knowing there are others like me
me knowing that I can contributeme feeling proud to be asexual
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AroAce of haiku
butterflies
in the stomach being near to a person
not happening— aromanticism
not feeling
this strange, driving urge
inherent to most— asexuality
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Asexual Awareness Week 2025
The Asexual Awareness Week, or Ace Week for short, is an annual event for raising awareness and fostering understanding about asexuality. It usually takes place in the last week of October and includes a lot of different activities online and offline.
This year’s Asexual Awareness Week takes place from 19.10. – 25.10.2025 and with the hashtag #AceAwarenessWeek resources and experiences can be shared and brought together.
To answer the question “What is asexuality?” I want to cite the definition from AVEN, the Asexual Visibility and Education Network:
An asexual person is a person who
does not experience sexual attraction.Of course, this is just a very short definition and asexuality differs from person to person. If you want more information on this topic I recommend a visit to AVEN. They have a very comprehensive questions and answers site as well as a lot of personal insights and a whole page full of further resources.
A book I highly recommend is “The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality” by Julie Sondra Decker, ISBN 978-1634502436. You can buy it from any bookstore, so please consider supporting your local books seller.For me being asexual, or ace for short, means that I don’t feel sexual attraction or any desire to get intimate with anybody. I never experienced arousal just by looking at someone. I know the meaning behind the term “hot person”, but do not feel it. Never have, never will.
On a metaphysical level I accumulated some knowledge about sex and sexuality in general, but this is purely on an intellectual level. It allows me to gain an understanding why sex is so prevalent in our society. Also I’m more than capable of talking about the concept or how people experience arousal themselves. What I don’t need are the juicy details of one’s personal sex live, that is too much insight. Same goes for sex scenes in films/movies or books. Usually I just ignore them by looking away or speed read over the corresponding paragraphs since they usually don’t add anything meaningful to the story.
Does that mean that I feel lonely? No, I have close relationships based upon mutual interests and with people I can have stimulating conversations with.
This was just a short introduction post and more on this topic will follow this week. Also feel free to check out the resources I mentioned above or click on the links below.
Links
- AVEN: https://www.asexuality.org/
- Ace Week: https://aceweek.org/
- Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asexuality
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Review week 42/2025
Grateful
- I reached out to colleagues from my study course and got some helpful tips for researching literature.
Failure
- Only two weeks left to hand in the research proposal for my master’s thesis and I’m behind schedule writing it.
Take Away/Doing Next
- Schedule time for exclusively working on my research proposal, either reading articles or writing.
Si'ar Siyu's Webplace 