Author: rhyming snail

  • Buggy

    These lyrics have been written to the Michael Jackson song “Thriller”.

    Its close to deadline
    and something fishy’s lurking in the code
    every time you run it
    the computer only switches to sleep mode
    you wanna sleep
    but the stupid source doesn’t wanna let you
    you hear a beep
    as the screen dies right in front of you
    now you’re due

    Chorus

    cause this is a buggy, buggy program
    and no one’s gonna see through the infinity of lines

    you know it’s buggy, buggy sourcecode
    you try to find your way through a beta, without hope

    You feel your heart race
    and realise the end is drawing near
    covered with cold sweat
    you wonder if you’ll ever see it clear
    you try to think
    and hope that bug isn’t in YOUR software
    your cellphone rings
    the display clearly shows your clients name
    end of the game

    Chorus

    cause it’s a buggy, useless program
    there ain’t no debug-feature to help you through this time yeah
    you know it’s buggy, buggy software
    you’re beggin’ to your client to give you one more chance

    Another one calls
    and complains that he ain’t got a feature that
    will print his screen
    to a Canon eighteen fifty
    (they’re popular)
    now you gotta face war

    they’re out to get you
    there’s clients closing in, this will be gross
    they will access your
    bank account to compensate their loss
    now’d be the time
    for the alarm clock to ring like hell and wake you
    but as you see
    this is the harsh reality
    you gonna bleed

    Chorus

    cause you’ve wrote buggy, buggy programs
    and everyone you know will try to avoid you from today (on)
    buggy, buggy sources
    no one wants to hear from you from now on, tomorrow, next year, forever ever more

    cause you’ve wrote buggy, buggy programs
    and everyone you know will try to avoid you from today (on)
    buggy, buggy sources
    no one wants to hear from you from now on, tomorrow, next year, forever ever more

    Spooky Voice

    Blueness falls across the screen
    nothing worse has yet been seen
    press the ‘any’-key now if you dare
    feelings of loss then you will share

    But no one’s gonna patch this up
    ’cause it’s a feature, not a bug
    and trying to work with this awful shell
    sure is one side of the MS hell

    The foulest stench is in the air
    the mainboard melts before your eyes
    and stinky fumes from every slot
    will let repairs work out not

    And though the computer was brand new
    a look at the inside shows
    that all was new, but has fallen to
    the curse of the Windows

    Maniacal laughter

  • Takenoko no haiku

    cracking wood
    devouring bamboo by the tonne
    lazily sleeping

    — the panda

    frantic digging
    pouring love into every plant
    sweating profusely

    — the gardener

    oblivious wandering
    striding through the garden
    maintaining the illusion

    — the emperor

    Wikipedia: Takenoko (board game)

  • Heat of the night

    In the heat of the night
    sweat on my brow
    feeling my might
    the moment is now

    Whisper sweet nothings
    in my lovers left ear
    I hear a low huffing
    the moment is near!

    The stars were so right
    but we had no such luck
    in the heat of the night
    it was too hot to fuck

  • Ode to guides

    I love to watch you glisten
    and how you bob and swerve
    now stop telling me to listen
    you get on my fucking nerve

    — Navy

    Every time I take a step
    you demand to have a word
    but if I walk into a trap
    you're a silent, useless sword

    — Fi

  • Super haiku Bros. V

    giant lizard
    roasting his enemies
    stores axes near bridges

    — King Koopa

    blinking brightly
    high on psychedelic mushrooms
    dispatching everything

    — Mario with Superstar

  • Super haiku Bros. IV

    small dark ball
    blinking red, living only
    to explode

    — Bob-omb

    shot from a cannon
    flying slowly, and yet
    staying aloft

    — Bullet Bill

  • Super haiku Bros. III

    fluffy white ether
    shyly hiding if you look
    approaches from behind

    — Boo

    nothing but bones
    crumbling at the slightest touch
    reassembling every time

    — Dry Bones

  • Super haiku Bros. II

    flying turtle
    hovering up and down
    serving as bridge

    — Koopa Paratroopa

    big brother
    constantly throwing hammers
    defeated by small earthquake

    — Hammer Bro

  • Super haiku Bros. I

    giant chestnut
    walking steadily to the left
    falling off blocks

    — Goomba

    vigilant tortoise
    protected by its shell
    Yoshi's food

    — Koopa Troopa